POEM FALL 2005 (edited last night)

I am lost when
I ache to settle my soul
when trapped
eyeless running around in my head.

Lost
I am not
instead
am found.

I woke up with sunrise
and stretched
my consciousness 

In a new town.
I am aware of:
The cool air.
The brightly changing leaves.

I began the morning
with idle chit chat with strangers,
delighting in the experience of being human.

Enjoying my senses:
the smell of hot coffee,
the smile shared with a stranger,
with my eyes open to see it,
feel it.

Oh, to not loose this feeling of wakefulness.
I would study with monks,
cry out with animals,
bow to the tide, as it washes up on my toes.

Filling the Well

I had an old room mate that was a Cristian girl and she would say, "I need to fill my well." To do this she would rent out a dance space and go and dance. I could imagine her tall frame flying through the air with wild leaps, with no one to bump into.  What do I do to fill my well? I know how to empty it. Maybe it is okay to occasionally sit down at the bottom surrounded by moisture and moldy bricks. To watch the light flood in from the top of the well and only come up when my bones start to ache from the small space and the mold on my skin. 
Today I am sitting in the well. I will be back soon.

Tiny Queen

There once was a man who stole a ring,

from a very, very, tiny queen. 

The queen came up and said with a flash,

"You give that back or, 

I'll tie you up in this sash."

"Ha, Ha, Ha" said the man who took the ring, 

"Your so tiny you can not do anything." 

"Oh yes I can." She said in a flash. 

Before he knew what happened he was tied in a sash. 

"How did you do it you tiny thing?" 

"You forget" she said, "I am a female queen."

poem 2 Written in the fall of 2006

The steady earth
The only love I can count on.
I wish to release my belongings and walk barefoot into the sea.
Instead of words filled with empty compliments, I wish to hear the sea and the wind through the trees.
In place of kisses the warm sun on my skin or raindrops like a happy tonge touching my nose.
The wind to blow to my hair from my face.
The steady earth to hold me.
I will have a love affair with that which is consistent and complex that which is not afraid or hateful.

The Poems Begin

10/29/06
Occationaly in quiet moments of breath,
I am set free from my mind and
my soul peacefully soars in simplicity.

I am ordinary

I am so fabulously ordinary, free of makeup and judgement.

bandanna on my head,
greens in my belly,
Animal needs met,
spirit quietly satisfied

belly full with breath
heart warm
pumping
eyes wide
open
soul still

lily pads

Painted the lily pads at the camp sight from my memory today. Painting is an emotional roller coaster...here is my self talk "wow that sucks...ooo I like it...oh no, is that paint running-PAPER TOWEL QUICK-...what is with that elispe is it a donut or a paper airplane...tree trunks are defiantly gray...it's done...no one more stroke. yeah done hmm it turned out pretty nice." Now I am sleepy.

Human connections

So in response to a email from a friend I want to talk about the importance of human connections, as it was on my list of necessary things to stay productive and happy. I am new to this city and making friends can be quite a task.
I have intentions of meeting more friends when I get a job or sign up for an art class. (insert defensive tone) plus I have friends at my husbands lab.
I have met some people:
My hubby and I were driving to drop him off at work, when I saw an Indian man pushing his car by himself and a woman was steering the car. The couples battery had died. The man was on his way to take his wife to work.  I offered to take her to work. I dropped off my Mr. and hopped on the freeway.    
As I drove she talked my ear off. She was nice a nice woman,  she had just finshed school and had to get a retail job due to the economy. She gave me breakfast at her job and hugged me when I left.
I told her I liked to cook Indian food, she told me I could call any time for cooking tips.
The question is will I call? Probably not.

What do we do is the modern society if we are not in a religious or racial clique to develop a community? I think going to a support group is the bravest thing a person can do. However, I am not going to do it.
Then there are neighbors. I know my neighbors names but do we have any thing in common? My mind says things like, 'what if they are crazy then I am stuck with them?', They are right next door.
When did my mind become the home of paranoia?
One of my best friends in Tucson was a neighbor. She loves art, cooking, and is very creative. She is a real treasure.

In looking for more friends I will ask the universe,
 Dear Universe, 
Can I have some creative friends that are spiritual, kind, love good food, take good care of their bodies, love nature and enjoy diverse activities? 
Additionally universe I prefer events not to start with what kind of alcohol is going to be there. In contrast, I want them to talk about art, community, nature, and family.
Thank you for your generous response. 
Spring. 
A quote by Sanaya Roman: All you need to do to receive guidance is to ask for it and then listen.
My ears and heart are wide open.
p.s. still no pick.