Time

Oh my how times have changed since I started this blog. When I got out of the hospital and was healing, I had so much time, I needed to plan out my schedule to give me a purpose.
Now I am writing because it calms and centers me. I am writing so I don't forget any of the things I need to do. Of course regardless of how tired I am, I defiantly prefer the latter.
I was in Borders this morning Christmas shopping.  I saw an old woman telling an employee of the store  she had trouble walking and that she needed help looking for the books on her list. The employee sounded put out and was rude to the old woman, she called someone else to help the lady and walked away. I walked over and asked the old woman how I could help her and she brightened like a Christmas tree.
You see I know what it is like not to be able to get around. However, I realize the employee is over worked and the holidays are crazy for retail workers. Who knows maybe she hurts also.  It is much harder to be loving when in pain.
I am so grateful to at last be 100% healthy, now I just have to rebuild my stamina.  As for me when I am very old (at least 100) I have decided I will defiantly like to be in a really nice nursing home, one where the staff keeps me entertained.
Today I am going to finish the last of my Christmas cards, write in my book, make some potato soup with spicy sausages, and do some cleaning.

Cheers. Spread love where ever you go. There is a quote that my sister loved-"Be kind, because you never know what silent battle someone is fighting."

The Clay Peep

A long time ago I made some people out of self drying clay that I promised I would post. I finally uploaded them.

Rose

Sharing my returned home rose

Ghosts in the kitchen

Youth tricks.

Winter I belive has begun for real. It is cold here today my toes feel like they are rolling around in my shoes. I taught algebra at the high school today. Oh wait, that is a lie. I wandered around the students while they worked on their algebra. 
I really like math it is like doing a puzzle. However, I did not pay attention in school so it is hard for me to remember how to do any of it. I was a very unhelpful math sub.  In fact, I got kicked out of algebra and had to take a business math class for ding-a-lings.
The scene: Algebra second period, my sophomore year of high school, me a bad perm.  I am a business woman so, I hired a smart freshman to do my work for me. I had a good job and was bringing in money. As a smart boyfriend once said why change your tire if you can afford to pay to have it done. I considered this plan  a brilliant outsourcing. Which worked until the exam. I could not do a single problem on my own, hello! bad planning. I am sure you can see why I was kicked out. That boyfriend was dumb also what happens with no cell service and a flat tire? Self efficacy has it benefits.

bad algebra teacher= (Algebra)not paying attention + business math

Dinner

So I made my first dinner since I got back home. I made Tandoori chicken, which is quite easy and I always get positive results.  You just:
1. go to the Indian store by Saag Tandoori season mix.
2. Then mix lemon juice, the mix, and yogurt together.
3. Cover any kind of chicken peices in it
4. Put in the Fridge
5. Take out later and broil till done. 

I made peanut lemon rice and Kale with unsweetened coconut and butter, sooo good. I steamed the Kale then toasted the coconut in butter and tossed it together.  The meal turned out very pretty the yellow rice the green kale and the red chicken it is nice to be in my kitchen. I am trying to set up skype so I can cook with my mother. Then I will get great skills for sure.

Love>Fear

Hello readers. My sister took her own life. Aside from my grief, I am more aware now than ever before how important it is to feed our minds and hearts with good food. Religion uses the words: devil or Satan vs. God.  New age folks use energy. I once saw a bumper sticker at the Co-op in Tucson that simply said Love>Fear. 
There are fears of not being good enough, of being alone. of losing our physical ability to get around. I myself was filled with fear when I was unable to walk in July. I was afraid of not being able to dress myself or sweep the floor, or cook for my husband. I had the benefit of receiving great love from all the kind friends I had developed prior to my illness. When I was unable to see the world outside of my fear, love saved me. 
Love is so powerful in healing. A friend of mine who suddenly lost his brother is going to Colombia to buy toys and give them to children in need. He is doing this to honor his brother who he says was kind and giving.
My sister was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, I do not think her illness is what caused her to take her life. I think it was the fear of being alone, cold and ill.
I pray for each person in the world to be warm and healthy with someone they love. I know that is not always possible. So I will pray instead that things like the sunrise, which is available to all of us lightens hearts so we can cultivate more love. I pray that songs that inspire and lift us fill our radios and overflow into peoples hearts. I pray that people spontaneously dance in there small spaces they call home.  I pray that no one ever thinks that they are not important. We all have the same heart beat, we all have to breath in and out. Please breath in a sense of safety and breath out love.