New Addition

Just before Halloween, we brought home a little black kitten. She is all pins and needles right now and I am covered with little wounds on my hands and legs. The funny thing about owning and aNIMAL48, (the cat just put on the caps lock and typed 48)... as I was saying- the funny think about owning an animal is that they demand attention. I tired to ignore the kitten when I got home from a nice drive with the hubby. I was hungry and wanted a snack. The cat was circling around being annoying. I just wanted a snack, when I felt a tug on the back of my pants as she climbed all up my back meowing the whole way saying, "YOU WILL NOT IGNORE ME" "Okay!" I sniped back with a huff, frustrated I put down my cracker and brie cheese and just cuddled the kitty. We both calmed down, she pranced away. As she pranced off she looked back at me and said, "You could have made that easier by saying hello with the cuddle."

flowers and a lion

Flowers from the Hubby

The text for the lion was found on a blog about spirit animals

Rumi Poem

On Friday afternoon I for the first time in months I completed a Yoga CD called Yoga Chant by Shiva Rea. I slowly twisted, and turned, and moaned, as aches throughout my body and my mind were stretched and eased.  At the end of the CD is this beautiful Rumi poem:


Remember the entrance door 
to the sanctuary is inside you. 
Love is a river 
Drink from it. 
A pearl in the shell 
does not touch the ocean. 
Be a pearl 
without a shell, 
a midful flooding 
a spark turned to flame 
bird settling nest
love lived. 

As I contemplated this poem I have discovered that it is the perfect life map for me.

1. The only place to find peace is in my own heart and I maintain the temple.
2. Love is vastly available if I want it.
3. To learn and experience more I must be brave and open
4. Find what makes me awake and spread it.
5. be in my own personal place that is home and settle there.

Rumi said to me with these easy steps love lives. I am going to use these five principles in this blog and continue my love filled life.
Cheers to being a bird, settled in nest.

Update on Holding Togehter

I rode my bike to the animal shelter to put in an application for a pet. I then rode to the library and got a library card. I love riding my bike however, this city is not designed for bikes. I am guessing it is because of the long winters, no one is riding skinny wheeled street bikes in spandex in the middle of the winter.
So there I was facing a sharp turn on the road with no sidewalk, or bike lane that was steeply down hill and curvy. My front break line was out (I should fix it). I said a short prayer and went for it, holding my back break the whole time my breaks screeching like a halk.  As you can see I made it down the hill in one piece but now from tensing my body my hips and knees feel like they could use a little oil and a professional masseur.
The bike riding should help balance out my use of butter. As for creative work, I  have been doing graphic design every Wednesday for Planned Parenthood (as a volunteer). I am re-writing my story with the edits. I finished a drawing of a lion and a mandala, just for fun and I will post it. I plan to go back to practicing the guitar today and get some pine cones to finish the Goddess table. Also for some reason I have been really dyslexic. This morning I said: My Seet are Fwolen, Does any one have any tips to help with this?
Cheers,
Me.

Stuffed Cabbage

Today I made stuffed cabbage for the first time. It is said to be a Polish dish. Which makes me wish I had some very dark Rye bread to serve with it and my friend in Tucson Michael, who is Polish to eat it. I served little red mashed potatoes instead of dark Rye bread. I am getting plumpy and not doing anything to stop the plumpy progress. To the potatoes I added butter and a dash of half and half. I best be careful as most of my jeans just fit with no room to grow. The topic being stuffed cabbage not stuffed me I will get back to the point.
I placed the whole head of cabbage in a large dish and I slow boiled it slowly, removing one leaf at a time. I eventually placed all the leaves in a dish to cool. For the filling, I picked up one pound of ground beef from the farmers market. I did discover that the cows in the north east are only grass fed part of the year due to the long winter. In such case I will not be buying beef again while I live here unless I win the lottery and can shop at Whole Foods/Whole paycheck.
For the heat in the dish I used one, very little, green and purple chili, that I bought at the farmers market. So pretty, but, for a little guy OH MY goodness he was hot. To test the heat I stuck my tongue just to the end of the chili after I cut it, off went a four alarm fire. I quickly got rid of the seeds and washed my hands, twice. One of my fingers still has a tingle. I sauteed the little chili in a little olive oil and added finely shredded carrot, ginger, garlic, clove and dried onions. (The dried onions were only because I am out of onions and to much of a fatty to ride my bike to the store and get more.) I mixed the carrot mixture, some half cooked brown rice and one egg into the ground beef. I made the little cabbage rolls drowned them in, tomato sauce water honey and clove and baked for an hour and a half. They are good and I think they will be even better tomorrow. Perhaps I should have friends over before my husband and I get more cubby with all the time on my hands. Mustn't be too chubby yet, the hubby brought me flowers when he came home.
Perhaps I should take up jogging before I have to start eating salads. No one wants to eat salads on cold New England evenings.

Learning To Be Critiqued

So any one that has been reading this blog knows I have a desire to be perfect. Well there is no wake up call to your imperfections than going to a writers group in downtown "Yaleland" with a group of professional writers all over 40.  I do give myself props for being brave.
It all started when I went to the Meetup web-sight and I uploaded my children's story to be read and critiqued. Then on a very rainy New England day, found parking, launched my umbrella and walked a few blocks to a swanky bar.
Then went down two flights of stairs to the basement of the bar. The basement was reserved for the writing group. The I gave a nervous smile, some hellos sat among people I had never met before, the critics.  The group covered both the strengths of my work, and covered what was not working. Of course, I only heard what was not working, went home and felt a little sorry for myself.  I have let some time pass and today I have began making some of the changes and am feeling excited to have some spring boards for improvement.
I am making the characters names more fitting to there behavioral characteristics. I am excited to be working.  I may not be perfect, but I am real.

p.s.
some name changes:
Cronkite=Topper Light
Jimmy= Pep Savor
Kiva= Minta Steady
Moddy= Sharpy Dapper

What do you think?

improve with white beans.

I am heading out for a writers group tonight and decided I wanted to make dinner before I left with what I had in the cupboards.
for the bean dish I used:
2 cups dry Great Northern White Beans
1 can green chillies
1 can diced tomatoes with Jalepeno
2 cloves garlic
three dried red chilies
15-20 frozen basil leaves
peanuts
Olive Oil
Red bell pepper (about one fourth)

for the Rice
1 can coconut milk
1 bay leaf
1 1/2 cup organic brown rice.
To make the beans I cooked them in the rice cooker with 10 cups of water. Mean while sauteed the onion and bell pepper till soft. Then I dumped in the tomatoes and the chillies (both green and dried) and finely shredded garlic. Brought to a boil then shut if off until the beans were done. I used the olive oil the basil and the peanuts to make a pesto. When the beans were done I added them to my tomato mixture and simmered till it became a nice paste. I then stirred in my pesto. Voila-

For the rice I dumped everything in the rice cooker and am waiting for it to finish.  Hope all turns out.

returning to the world.

Yesterday was my first day back in the real world as a worker. I am a worker as a volunteer and only worked a few hours and when I came home I was all buzzed up, I went on a long walk. I cleaned, made plans to cook and quite frankly wore myself out.

When I headed out to find some greens for our dinner I came across a nice little gift from the neighborhood. On the side of the main road, a hand painted sign read, corn and tomatoes. I pulled the car in it's tires crackling on the gravel covered parking lot. The place had several buildings that looked like small barns and a long sloping hill with horses and a goat curiously watching me.
There was a little ice cream stand, a young pretty girl working there showed me over one of the little red barns. Inside corn was piled on a long wooden shelf and fat red tomatoes were piled in a box. I only had five dollars cash on me and bought two ears of corn and three large tomatoes.
The lady of the house told me to buy up the tomatoes, they were the last of the season. The young girl told me to check my corn to make sure it was good, "it's the end of the season, you know." she said. I am new to the area but, I do know on a primal level that things are different this season as am I.

The east coast and I are still falling in love and we are both filled with mystery. I looked out across the landscape, it's rich green trees and big white clouds and am filed with hope as seasons pass.

The young girl told me I could bring food to the horses on the land. I walked around and talked to each horse. A large golden horse put his head against my chest, instant friends.

On the way home I brought my husband to the farm and fed the large golden horse an apple and a granola bar.
Then we came home boiled farm fresh corn, chopped tomatoes and pulled the leaves off fresh cilantro.  We made Amy's chipotle black bean burgers into burritos (I can still eat like a Tucsonan sometimes). I then deeply slept covered in a blanket warm in the chill of the coming fall.

Flan with cream cheese.

The couple flan.

It is interesting how making something can open your eyes to your strengths and your weaknesses. As I was circling the spoon in the deep bottom pan, smelling the sugar, cinnamon stick and orange zest and (not patiently) waiting for it to turn in to a rich golden color. I became anxious for the caramel to present itself and kept pausing to see if I had screwed it up.  My husband, comforting, and encouraging me to wait. Not yet... I as in a previous article I wrote I realize I am a member of the fast food nation. I want to be a slow food girl like my mother, who could can, bake, and sew, with saintly patience.

When at last I poured the golden caramel  into the pan it quickly began to thicken and I was happy that it had not burned. My hubby then pointed out it was thicker on one side. I panicked thinking, Oh NO he doesn't think I am perfect, I want to be perfect, and fast.
My husband helped me put the heavy pot in the stove and made sure any details were not missed. I added water in the pan underneith and together we slid the flan and it's steam bath back inside the stove.
In the end it all turned out quite nicely. I get gold stars because, I took the risk of making the flan, and I guess you can say I am brave.  I will work on being imperfect, and slower next time. As for now I am still speedy with a dream of perfection.
love
MSD or SDP. :)

Friday night

Friday night I met some friends for dinner. We googled a place down town New Haven that was supposed to be fairly inexpensive and had a nice menu on line. We got there and guess what It did not exist. There was an Irish pub right next door the prices were good and the atmosphere okay, but the peeps were not interested in going inside. The five of us were standing outside the Irish place tossing out ideas and staring at the ground, when a woman who was standing up on some stairs behind us, in a bright blue dress wearing a long string of pearls tied in a knot, smoking a cigarette, stated, "It is difficult to court so many people isn't it." I agreed and then felt a little like Tiger Woods, and not as a golfer. We then walked around the corner and ended up eating at a large Japanese restaurant with good sushi and a comfortable ambiance. We followed are dinner by walking to a very hip looking bar and stopping at an art gallery along the way.
The hip club was really strange inside, it had recessed booths with tall walls all the way to the ceiling and cushions that looked liked giant corduroy, then long tables with glass tops filled with good looking city folks. On the ceiling was a painting of the night sky. The whole place reminded me of an 80's, movie interpretation, of the future. The hostess took my friends and I to a room she called the tea room, it was in the back of the club, private, and dark. It made me think of a war bunker or the private room of a strip club. The walls were made of piled sandstone on the bottom and were painted black on the top with sketched images of birds flying up above. The artistry of the place seemed to bring out a giddiness in all of us. The night ended in the basement of an Irish pub and a live band. The conversation was good and the company divine. I now need to rest.

Cooking

Here above is a picture of the carrots on the stove with the curry leaves. The green and orange were so pretty I had to run get the camera.


To the right is a photo of my prepared spices so I did not dig through the spice rack in a panic as my food burned (there is a reason they do that on cooking shows.)

The tomatoes were emotional about going into the dal. I tried to comfort them by cutting them in half.

The Ganesha I Promised

Todays Walk

I have been cooking all day and unlike some foodies, I do not love cooking as much as I love eating and hearing praise from my hubby. Today I have made dal, using mung beans, onions, Roma tomatoes, and curry seasonings like my husband taught me. Then I made a grape raita, which is like a side salad made of yogurt, oil and spices, and lastly stir fried carrots with cumin and lime. I am still working on some samosas and the rice and what to do with an eggplant.
Luckily we ran out of white rice and I decided to walk to the store, it is such a lovely day. The clouds are big and gray with suttle threats of rain. The wind is blowing in circles, which I like because it does not just visit in one direction, it blows back my hair then blows it forward, it blows in one ear, and then is nice enough to visit the other. On my way back from the market I walked by the most beautiful thing. There is a house that has a lavender wooden fence. On the fence grows deep purple morning glories. The sight of the rich green leaves wound around the lavender fence and accented by the deep purple of the flowers made me feel grateful to the home owner for taking the time to make the street beautiful.
I did complete some work on the goddess table and funny enough I am working on the side the represents wind. Does art imitate life or does art open our eyes to life? I believe in the latter.

The Table

This is the work in progress.

Labor Day

As the Labor Day holiday comes to an end I think about what new things I would like to add to my life and what old things I would like to remove.  I feel like it is a good time to begin new patterns. I am not sure but I think the Jewish new year is right around the corner. I must have been Jewish in a past life.

Or perhaps it is just the stark change in the air that fall brings, that makes me feel like I myself am ready to be planted for the winter harvest. So perhaps not a Jew in a past life, but a bright orange pumpkin (the pumpkin and I look more a like.)

Speaking of the fall harvest, currently I am working on a goddess shrine. My husband found a cardboard crate that when turned upside down looks like a small table. To create the shrine I used Sage Woman magazines, paint, decoupage, sequins, plastic jewels, sharpies and feathers.   I began the project by cliping out images of women cooking, praying and loving.  I also clipped out a prayer about sacred space.
I then painted the little table and decoupaged the images on it. The paint I used smeared under the decoupage, which gave it a nice tie dyed look. Then I used gold and silver sharpie where I wanted solid color.
I am currently working on adding sequins and feathers. I am thinking of giving it to my sister for winter solstice. I will post pictures.
Time is no longer a burden.
Cheers
Spring

Sitting on the Couch

There is this wonderful tool that is so helpful in getting rid of any lingering emotions that weigh heavy on your heart. It is not that B.S. of,"just feel happy", or" just be grateful you are alive". It is not anything that removes you from what is sitting on your couch, staring at you with only the intensity that a lingering emotion can do. What you need to do is walk over and

sit down next to it on the yellow checkered couch, look it directly in the eyes, and say, "Okay I am ready. What do you want?" Then listen/feel. Don't listen to any voices other than that of your feelings, especially those visitors that masquerade as feelings: they go by the names of guilt, shame or any other pesky emotions associated with not being good enough or broken. Who you are sitting with on the couch is sorrow, anger, joy ect. If you really listen, I mean really listen, they tell you who you are, like a loving person, that needs more places to be loving, or a busy person that needs more place to rest, or a hurt person that needs to let their voice be heard.

Then when your done with your chat thank them for reminding you, your alive. Then get up from the couch and tell yourself how valuable you are, and take charge of your day.
My heart is light and joyous today. Not because I have had no pain in my life, but because I have and each day learn who I am and the more l learn the more I like being me.