South Mountain Perserve

Place: South Mountain Preserve

Phoenix AZ 

Status of Humans: Hungover 

no dogs 

no child 

Humans 1 Michelle 43 Years old 1 Chad 45 Weather Pleasant 

Hike: Holbert Trail. 

Distance 4.6 miles (plus a smidge more for missing our turn in the dark) 

This trail head was inhabited by a birthday party. We met the matriarch of the party, a kind women sporting a tiny pink crown made of sparkled paper. tilted just to the left in her grey hair. She shared the family was celebrating her grand daughters birthday. The party had larger than life Toy Story characters -Woody and Buzz Lightyear Conga dancing with the people celebrating, it seemed a bit surreal. 

Chad and I glanced at the party, greeted the grandmother and began our trek onto the Holbert trail. 

 Large rocks stained black with rust red insides pile up around us. For plants I saw familiars from Tucson, ocotillo, prickly pear, and barrel cactus. 

In the wash at the beginning of the trail there were three large circular fire pits. I liked imagining the people of Phoenix on a cool spring night celebrating in that spot, friends circled around fire pits, enjoying the desert night. 

There were petroglyphs on this hike, people of simple design carved onto the rock. 

One of the nice things about this hike was the change in perspective. It takes a hiker up, up, up, above the city and a hiker can see the valley down below to the right. 

There were wildflowers everywhere so many of them were purple I did not know their names.

 

The hike curls up out of the valley. Other hikers walked by carrying bouquets of picked wild flowers and we stoped to admire a tree on the side of the trail that had beautiful shaped branches. 

I waited more time than usual to add this entry into my nature journal and I could feel my mind aching to recapture how truly lovely this hike was. 

It was steep enough to give my legs a work out. The work out sweated out my poor choices of the night before. I felt my sleepy-foggy-self burn off and as I gained focus, I felt strong and the hike topped out in an area where saguaros were gold in the setting sun. We rounded a corner to find a hedgehog in full bloom, a blot of fuchsia in the green, tan and gold. landscape. Dessert magnolias with their sage green leaves dot the landscape adding texture and color, not that the desert needs the extra texture but the splashes of yellow and sage let this hiker know it was defiantly spring. 

At the top at sunset I turned my phone on to discover the school I was to work at on the 17th of March would be closed due to the pandemic. I panicked a bit as the sun set around me rambling on about my concerns of perhaps being out of work. Having just moved and not wanting to have to rely on my partners income. 

Then 

the quiet rocks and landscape 

in the dusk 

took all my worries 

and I 

like the landscape 

fell quiet. 

At least for a moment until I began to worry that I would step on a rattle snake. Or Chad would, and he is too big to carry down a hill. I turned on my head lamp to look about for them and Chad got upset saying "I was blinding him in the eyes" I got fussy about his response then tried to fix the light to a softer setting, embarrassed. In the distance before I turned on the light the city lights could be seen. I found them beautiful like jewels in an otherwise dark landscape. Chad shared he did not like them. I understand they show civilization. We are no longer in the wild. I suppose I love the city and the wild and can feel my feet standing in between. 

This hike is just outside Phoenix Arizona 1.63 million people. My expectations were a crowded hike but we only ran across a handful of hikers. I think this has to do with the time we ventured out, returning to the car in the dark close to 8pm or perhaps the other change on the horizon. 

We then went to Indian food at Star of India then napped in the car like babies or puppies a quick transition from play to sleep. The world at this this moment was changing. I did not really grasp it yet. The quiet of Corona was arriving, the hike and the restaurant were impacted.   

Hydro-Tube.

Hello there. I am not sure anyone still reads this blog as the author has been missing for some time. I had this feeling before I went back to work like I would get standing at the top of Hydro Tube as a kid. Hydro Tube was this sky-rise tall, curving, tube, that ending in a pool of water. It was pretty fun aside from the fact that I was claustrophobic, afraid of water, and could not swim. I remember the feeling I would get standing at the top. The knowing that the sliding would go by really fast then... the deep water. It was this combination of fear, excitement and joy.
Ever since I have been working days are flying by. I have finished my Statistics class. I am getting ready to start school in the fall and my hubby and I are going to move. We found a great place right next door to a community garden. The landlords are a young couple expecting a baby. We will be a few blocks from a giant park and our favorite little french coffee shop. That will be nice we are currently in an area that is all bars and barber shops. It will be nice to be surrounded by gardens, art galleries, and nice coffee shops.
As the days fly by I remember my blessings and try not to be afraid to keep jumping in the tube.


Spread Love wherever you go.
Me.

Breath Machine

I am back at wanting to be perfect again. Trying to do a really good job can be
exhausting. I am noticing that I rip the head off of my partner whenever he points out that
I am not, in fact, perfect. I wonder if a desire to be perfect it is some kind of ego high.
Like, my ego enjoys being good at something to such a strong amount that I am terrified
that if I am not good at the things that I find pride in then I am not good for anything.
What if life was a grand machine at that by simply breathing I was able to run the motor.
Then my only job would be to breath. Then all that other stuff that I think is important
and I think defines me would not matter.
Mantra: I am a cog in the breath machine and I am doing my job and that is good enough.

The petless home

So we gave up our kitten to a girl (about 18) who's cat died and said she was super lonely with out him. Misty (the kitten) liked her right away. She played with the girls boots then, sat by her with her feet curled under her.  It was harder than I thought and I cried a little. However, I only felt sad when she left and I am quite certain that today I feel relived.

As for the joys of being cat free last night I brought in a large pine branch for Christmas. I took out art supplies and I sat surrounded by little bits of wire, beads, and paint no one around to steal them. I was inspired to start a new art project and started the day drawing while the hubby sat joyfully reading the New York times. (Okay your right we live and easy love filled life). But hey, I like it that way. Since the cat killed all my house plants I went out and I got a new plant a Calla Lilly and it is beautiful. I wonder does it count as a pet?

New England Morning

Daylight savings times happened yesterday. This morning as I enjoyed my extra hour of sleep I could hear wind tossing the trees around outside. I curled under the blanket and ignored the cat pouncing around behind me. Then the hubby came in and said, "It's snowing." It does not snow in Arizona I thought, then I remembered I don't live there anymore.
To my good luck, yesterday. Yes, yesterday I bought a warm coat, lucky timing I say. So with my warm new coat and a cup of Earl Grey tea in my hand I watched the hubby clean the snow off the windows. "Get in." he says and were off. At last, our gas sucking Subaru is worth its safety rating, gliding along the road slush, effortlessly.
I went to the VA to get my Flu shot which was quick. The nurse at the counter told me she liked my coat. I told her I had just gotten it and that moving from Arizona I did not have a good warm coat. Then I told her, "See, I am ready for New England, you wouldn't even know I moved here." She looked at me then she said, "Oh they'll still know."  I gave her a smile. I know what she means.

The door to the VA is a large rotating door. With three large sections. One man and I were on one side, heading inside the building in another section was old man with a cane. In the last section people were piling in while the old man took tiny steps the rotating door moving a very little bit with each slow step he at last went out trapping all the people heading in, there were about ten people. The man that was in with me slipped through the small space left and went back into the VA to hit a button for when the door stops for safety. Not one of the people on the other side saw this. Then they saw me waiting for the man to return. Ten loud New England voices then yelled, "Hey there is a lady just standing over there. WALK, WALK." Feeling frustrated by all the yelling I walked over to the door, (it did not budge) then did a pirouette and danced around a little then yelled back at them, "It's not moving".  At last it moved just enough for me to get out. I stomped away. Then giggled at the silliness of it all as I hurried to my car to get out of the freezing wind.

Christina from Rachael Ray-please read

The Rachael Ray show is doing this piece about a teenage girl named Christina, who has set a goal to loose 70 lbs by prom. This weight loss will be essential for her health (important) and in her mind the development of friendships. I want to yell at my TV and tell the girl, "friends are not made by the size of you butt, but the size of your heart." I have loved many an obese person and not thought one second about their weight. It appears that this girl is motivated to be pretty and to have power. I have never seen her do anything for anyone else other than whine about not being pretty. REALLY this is inspiring people, for God sake I don't feel inspired I feel annoyed, this kind of television is continuing to perpetuate the idea that what gives a person value is there exterior. Christina, joy will never last if it is based on you external needs. What makes joy last is being motivated by love, both for self and others. That will mean weight loss. Love is first, then, butt size, not the other way, it never works.

returning to the world.

Yesterday was my first day back in the real world as a worker. I am a worker as a volunteer and only worked a few hours and when I came home I was all buzzed up, I went on a long walk. I cleaned, made plans to cook and quite frankly wore myself out.

When I headed out to find some greens for our dinner I came across a nice little gift from the neighborhood. On the side of the main road, a hand painted sign read, corn and tomatoes. I pulled the car in it's tires crackling on the gravel covered parking lot. The place had several buildings that looked like small barns and a long sloping hill with horses and a goat curiously watching me.
There was a little ice cream stand, a young pretty girl working there showed me over one of the little red barns. Inside corn was piled on a long wooden shelf and fat red tomatoes were piled in a box. I only had five dollars cash on me and bought two ears of corn and three large tomatoes.
The lady of the house told me to buy up the tomatoes, they were the last of the season. The young girl told me to check my corn to make sure it was good, "it's the end of the season, you know." she said. I am new to the area but, I do know on a primal level that things are different this season as am I.

The east coast and I are still falling in love and we are both filled with mystery. I looked out across the landscape, it's rich green trees and big white clouds and am filed with hope as seasons pass.

The young girl told me I could bring food to the horses on the land. I walked around and talked to each horse. A large golden horse put his head against my chest, instant friends.

On the way home I brought my husband to the farm and fed the large golden horse an apple and a granola bar.
Then we came home boiled farm fresh corn, chopped tomatoes and pulled the leaves off fresh cilantro.  We made Amy's chipotle black bean burgers into burritos (I can still eat like a Tucsonan sometimes). I then deeply slept covered in a blanket warm in the chill of the coming fall.

Friday night

Friday night I met some friends for dinner. We googled a place down town New Haven that was supposed to be fairly inexpensive and had a nice menu on line. We got there and guess what It did not exist. There was an Irish pub right next door the prices were good and the atmosphere okay, but the peeps were not interested in going inside. The five of us were standing outside the Irish place tossing out ideas and staring at the ground, when a woman who was standing up on some stairs behind us, in a bright blue dress wearing a long string of pearls tied in a knot, smoking a cigarette, stated, "It is difficult to court so many people isn't it." I agreed and then felt a little like Tiger Woods, and not as a golfer. We then walked around the corner and ended up eating at a large Japanese restaurant with good sushi and a comfortable ambiance. We followed are dinner by walking to a very hip looking bar and stopping at an art gallery along the way.
The hip club was really strange inside, it had recessed booths with tall walls all the way to the ceiling and cushions that looked liked giant corduroy, then long tables with glass tops filled with good looking city folks. On the ceiling was a painting of the night sky. The whole place reminded me of an 80's, movie interpretation, of the future. The hostess took my friends and I to a room she called the tea room, it was in the back of the club, private, and dark. It made me think of a war bunker or the private room of a strip club. The walls were made of piled sandstone on the bottom and were painted black on the top with sketched images of birds flying up above. The artistry of the place seemed to bring out a giddiness in all of us. The night ended in the basement of an Irish pub and a live band. The conversation was good and the company divine. I now need to rest.