Saving the Sweets

My home is filled with ginger bread, caramel covered pop corn, chocolate cake, chocolate covered toffee, fudge, cookies, and one piece of sticky toffee pudding. I find I have this inner worry that these divine sweets will go bad and that I must eat them all before that happens.
In contrast to these thoughts however, I have been exercising in hopes to balance out my need to save the sweets.
For example, yesterday I walked to the bank, which my pedometer says is 2,570 steps from my home.
On my way, I walked over large mountains of snow. I walked past a man in yellow rubber boots who was pushing some strange, snow blowing, contraption. The machine he was using had a protective plastic frame that looked like a *phone booth. The man in the phone booth was on top of a lawnmower looking machine that tossed snow into the air, like confetti on New Years day. Be aware those machines are nothing you want to be down wind from.
When I got down town I walked in a canyon. A canyon that had been carved from show shovels, creating mountains of snow. I watched a man climb one of those mountains, to put letter in a UPS box. I walked down the sidewalk canyon in our small city past fifteen bars, a rent a center, and a small dinner with $2.95 eggs and potatoes, before reaching the bank. Tucson came into my mind, then, the Wizard of Oz line: Dorthy your not in Kansas anymore. The East is so different than the dessert.  I do like the change in seasons. I enjoy the challenge of shoveling snow and the quiet contentment to sit inside on snow covered days like this one and write on the computer.
Thanks to my walk I am going to make a pot of coffee and sit back with a piece of ginger bread and enjoy today's adventure in saving the Christmas sweets.

*a phone booth is a small room with three glass walls. Inside those walls is a phone. You could, at one time, drop a quarter, (yes only a quarter), into the phone and call someone you loved.

Quote of the Year

Life will bring you pain all by itself.
Your responsibility is to create joy. -Milton Erickson, M.D.

Milton Erickson was a farmers boy. When he was 17 he got polio. The doctor told his mother he would die. He asked his mother to slide the dresser in his room at an angle so he could use the mirror to watch the sunset in the other room. He did not want to miss a single sunset. While watching the sunset Milton blocked out all the visual obstacles and only saw the sun set. I can imagine the subtle pinks and yellows turning to vivid fuchsia and lavender as he drifted off to sleep. After Milton did, in fact, recover from his illness, he was no longer strong enough to be a farmer so he became a hypnotherapist and as it turned out a very good one.

The Red and Green of Christmas

The date that was on my new clock was December 25th. The time was two minute before one. I had just finished making spicy peanut noodles with home made chili oil; a recipe that I acquired from one of my best friends in Tucson (a great way of bringing my friend home for the holidays).

The recipe he gave me called for chili oil.  Living here in New England, they think ketchup is spicy. So there is no need to carry chili oil at the Stop and Shop, or the Trader Joes. I had to make my own.

I got the chili oil recipe from this blog http://www.foodonthebrain.net/2010/02/03/homemade-chili-oil/ it turned out delicious even though I did not use the ermented black beans. Enjoy.

Today's Find

Beautiful Earth

the tree

Love is Sitting in My Hand

 I am reading a book that is giving me comfort in my time of grief. It is the Tibetian Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche. One story told in the book if of the Buddha. There is a woman whose child dies and she goes around the village asking for someone to restore her child. The people send her to the Buddha. He tells her he will restore her baby if she can bring him corn from a home that has never experienced death. She buries her child and comes back to the Buddha to be taught about spirituality. 

Here is another a metaphor I learned from this book.

Love

Holding

Grasping

loss

without love

holding

trusting

opening and faith=love stays

Thank you.

How I got the tree

More than ever I wanted to have a real evergreen in the house this year. I learned that evergreens were originally a pagan tradition that represented the persistence of life, despite challenges. So with wild intent I acquired my tree branch by going out into the yard to get a little, yes little, ever-green branch. Then with a little tug down came this huge piece of tree. I giggled like crazy and ran for the back door dragging it inside like a pirates booty.

The petless home

So we gave up our kitten to a girl (about 18) who's cat died and said she was super lonely with out him. Misty (the kitten) liked her right away. She played with the girls boots then, sat by her with her feet curled under her.  It was harder than I thought and I cried a little. However, I only felt sad when she left and I am quite certain that today I feel relived.

As for the joys of being cat free last night I brought in a large pine branch for Christmas. I took out art supplies and I sat surrounded by little bits of wire, beads, and paint no one around to steal them. I was inspired to start a new art project and started the day drawing while the hubby sat joyfully reading the New York times. (Okay your right we live and easy love filled life). But hey, I like it that way. Since the cat killed all my house plants I went out and I got a new plant a Calla Lilly and it is beautiful. I wonder does it count as a pet?

Neandertal

Yesterday I decided to go to a lecture by Carl Zimmer called The Red Headed Neandertal, yes that is how he spelled it Neandertal. Which, by the way is a river valley in Germany where they found the first bones of a Neanderthal.
The lecture was in a building that was off-white in color and had a rounded, ornate, entrance way. Inside the building the large circular ceiling was painted a rich blue and covered with three dimensional golden stars. A beautiful contrast to the white walls.

I wandered around the medical library for a bit, looking at tools, diplomas and books from the 1800s. I noticed the surgery needle has not changed at all; it is still a curved piece of metal with a sharp point at the end. I ran my fingers over thick leather books, imagining how much work, so many people have put into learning the complex working of the body listed on their pages. How wonderful it must feel to have such a solid goal. 

I then headed into the lecture room. I was surprised to find that it was in a conference room. It had the thick wooden rectangular table with the beautiful solid wood chairs placed around it. Also placed on a table in the back of the room where three kinds of Sherry and some Christmas cookies. ( I have only used Sherry for cooking) I sat at the long conference table and watch distinguished looking old men  pour into the room (one even sporting a bow tie), then young thin intellectual looking boys with beards, and a handful of women. There were chairs along the walls that eventually filled in with people and even some people sat on the floor.
The lecture was fairly interesting, though I did see a fee people dose off.
Some interesting facts: Neandertals had the gene that causes humans to talk to one another.  Neandertals made weapons, but no art. They made jewelry from shells painting them with red ocher, but no drawings of animals or each other. Neandertals had about a 1% population with red hair and that gene is not the same as mine but a parallel gene. We all most likely have some Neandertal genes. With my red hair my chances are quite high. However, Neandertals actually had larger brains than humans and had organized living conditions. So we can no longer say, "My boyfriend is such a Neanderthal." unless we are giving him a complement.

To much information

Today I went to a web-sight for Art Submission so I could be inspired to work on something. The sight I went to was a link from Artshow.com. I am overwhelmed by all the options and run around looking at so many I am not sure where to start. Therefor starting on none because I am exhaused reading all the options. I need an agent to tell me what to do.

Time

Oh my how times have changed since I started this blog. When I got out of the hospital and was healing, I had so much time, I needed to plan out my schedule to give me a purpose.
Now I am writing because it calms and centers me. I am writing so I don't forget any of the things I need to do. Of course regardless of how tired I am, I defiantly prefer the latter.
I was in Borders this morning Christmas shopping.  I saw an old woman telling an employee of the store  she had trouble walking and that she needed help looking for the books on her list. The employee sounded put out and was rude to the old woman, she called someone else to help the lady and walked away. I walked over and asked the old woman how I could help her and she brightened like a Christmas tree.
You see I know what it is like not to be able to get around. However, I realize the employee is over worked and the holidays are crazy for retail workers. Who knows maybe she hurts also.  It is much harder to be loving when in pain.
I am so grateful to at last be 100% healthy, now I just have to rebuild my stamina.  As for me when I am very old (at least 100) I have decided I will defiantly like to be in a really nice nursing home, one where the staff keeps me entertained.
Today I am going to finish the last of my Christmas cards, write in my book, make some potato soup with spicy sausages, and do some cleaning.

Cheers. Spread love where ever you go. There is a quote that my sister loved-"Be kind, because you never know what silent battle someone is fighting."

The Clay Peep

A long time ago I made some people out of self drying clay that I promised I would post. I finally uploaded them.

Rose

Sharing my returned home rose

Ghosts in the kitchen

Youth tricks.

Winter I belive has begun for real. It is cold here today my toes feel like they are rolling around in my shoes. I taught algebra at the high school today. Oh wait, that is a lie. I wandered around the students while they worked on their algebra. 
I really like math it is like doing a puzzle. However, I did not pay attention in school so it is hard for me to remember how to do any of it. I was a very unhelpful math sub.  In fact, I got kicked out of algebra and had to take a business math class for ding-a-lings.
The scene: Algebra second period, my sophomore year of high school, me a bad perm.  I am a business woman so, I hired a smart freshman to do my work for me. I had a good job and was bringing in money. As a smart boyfriend once said why change your tire if you can afford to pay to have it done. I considered this plan  a brilliant outsourcing. Which worked until the exam. I could not do a single problem on my own, hello! bad planning. I am sure you can see why I was kicked out. That boyfriend was dumb also what happens with no cell service and a flat tire? Self efficacy has it benefits.

bad algebra teacher= (Algebra)not paying attention + business math

Dinner

So I made my first dinner since I got back home. I made Tandoori chicken, which is quite easy and I always get positive results.  You just:
1. go to the Indian store by Saag Tandoori season mix.
2. Then mix lemon juice, the mix, and yogurt together.
3. Cover any kind of chicken peices in it
4. Put in the Fridge
5. Take out later and broil till done. 

I made peanut lemon rice and Kale with unsweetened coconut and butter, sooo good. I steamed the Kale then toasted the coconut in butter and tossed it together.  The meal turned out very pretty the yellow rice the green kale and the red chicken it is nice to be in my kitchen. I am trying to set up skype so I can cook with my mother. Then I will get great skills for sure.

Love>Fear

Hello readers. My sister took her own life. Aside from my grief, I am more aware now than ever before how important it is to feed our minds and hearts with good food. Religion uses the words: devil or Satan vs. God.  New age folks use energy. I once saw a bumper sticker at the Co-op in Tucson that simply said Love>Fear. 
There are fears of not being good enough, of being alone. of losing our physical ability to get around. I myself was filled with fear when I was unable to walk in July. I was afraid of not being able to dress myself or sweep the floor, or cook for my husband. I had the benefit of receiving great love from all the kind friends I had developed prior to my illness. When I was unable to see the world outside of my fear, love saved me. 
Love is so powerful in healing. A friend of mine who suddenly lost his brother is going to Colombia to buy toys and give them to children in need. He is doing this to honor his brother who he says was kind and giving.
My sister was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, I do not think her illness is what caused her to take her life. I think it was the fear of being alone, cold and ill.
I pray for each person in the world to be warm and healthy with someone they love. I know that is not always possible. So I will pray instead that things like the sunrise, which is available to all of us lightens hearts so we can cultivate more love. I pray that songs that inspire and lift us fill our radios and overflow into peoples hearts. I pray that people spontaneously dance in there small spaces they call home.  I pray that no one ever thinks that they are not important. We all have the same heart beat, we all have to breath in and out. Please breath in a sense of safety and breath out love.